Gundam Disaster
by Aria52
Summary: What happens when Wu-fei finds an odd sword, why does Heero hold his hand in front of his face, What is really under Zechs' mask? Join this story as we explore the possibilities
1. Wuman

**Okay, to put it simply, this is my first attempt at a funny fanfic and it's not even entirely my idea**

**my sisters and i used to have a ton of odd action figures including pokemon stuff and gundam wing characters, basically, this is going to be a summary of the different parts**

**This is probably the only story i'm not gonna do for reviews, this is simply so i can stop thinking about those odd games, but reviews will be appriciated**

**i do not own gundam wing and i have yet to choose a favorite character for it**

* * *

"Are you sure?"

"We must get it to him"

"But the results will be…"

"Amusing, bring the sword"

**XD**

They all sat around, not knowing what to do

"Well, there's gotta be something, this is boring"

"No missions, there haven't been any for over a year"

"If this keeps up we'll have to stop"

"Why not create our own missions?"

"The Gundams are not supposed to exist anymore"

"Then we do them without the Gundams" Wu-Fei stood and left

10 seconds later they heard something odd

"I HAVE THE POWER!!" they all blinked and looked in the direction it came from which also happened to be the direction Wu-Fei went in

Wu-Fei burst out carrying a weird sword

"Wu-Fei, are you okay?"

"I am Wu-man, where is my damsel?" they all looked at each other, all thinking the same thing

'He has lost his mind'

"Wu-Fei, calm down" Wu-Fei turned to Duo

"There is my damsel!" Duo's eyes widened and soon he was picked up by Wu-Fei

"Let me down!" Wu-Fei held the sword up to the others and kept holding onto Duo before jumping off

"Help me!" was the last thing he heard

The three left blinked

"Shouldn't we help him?"

"If he can't help himself he should just let himself be protected, no matter who it's by" Heero stated, Quatre looked at Trowa

"I suppose we could…" he trailed off when he noticed something

"There you are Quatre!" he was tackled by the owner of the voice

"Guess what?" she looked happy

"We're getting married!" Quatre was sure that if Duo was there he would have burst out laughing

"And when was that decision made?"

"Ten minutes ago!" he looked at the two, Heero gave him the same look that he had shown when saying Duo should take care of himself while Trowa looked slightly amused

"Gomen, Dorothy, I have to help Duo" he shot out of there faster than they could see

"What happened to Duo?"

"Wu-man took him"

"Woman, who's that?"

"No, Wu-man" she blinked

"Wu-Fei suddenly started calling himself that and ran off after calling Duo his damsel" Dorothy started laughing as Wu-Fei came back into the clearing, looking back at where he had come from

"Why aren't you idiots helping me?" Heero just shrugged while Trowa again looked amused

"Hmm, I must save my damsel from the eyebrow freak and the blond boy" Wu-Fei said

"Are you calling me an eyebrow freak?" Dorothy screamed

"Well, they are freaky" Duo said

Dorothy launched herself at Duo but was stopped by the sword, Quatre came out of the trees and tried to get Duo out

Dorothy grabbed the sword and Wu-Fei dropped Duo while rubbing his head

"I HAVE THE POWER!" they all looked at Dorothy

"I am Do-man, where is my damsel?" Duo started laughing when she grabbed Quatre and ran off

Heero looked amused

"Wu-man, aren't you gonna help Quatre?" Wu-Fei turned to Duo

"What did you call me?" Duo looked confused then laughed

"RUN, MY DAMSEL IS ATTACKING!" they all watched as Dorothy ran while dropping the sword, then they blinked until they saw gun shots coming from where she ran, Quatre came out with his hair sticking out and laughing evilly as he shot at Dorothy, he turned to them

"Go ahead" Heero stated, Quatre grinned and continued running after Dorothy with the gun

"What's with him?" Duo asked

"A chip of the zero system accidentally got lodged into his head, it messes with him every once in a while" Heero explained

"I don't want to be the victim when that happens" was all Duo said in response

* * *

**So, if you feel like reviewing, tell me what you think, it was probably funnier for us with the wufei and the little lego sword but it was still fun, if you've ever seen the action figures that come in a set and you can easily take off parts then you have an idea of what influenced some things...crazy quatre is merely the quatre figure with his bangs flipped**

**i will update when i finish the next chapter...until then, ja ne**


	2. And nitty And witty And GAY

**Okay, so here's the next chapter, to have an idea of why the beginning happens, if you've seen the heero action figure, he has the hand in front of his face like he always does in the opening credits, and you can move the hand behind his head, pair that with a vanity toy we got i don't remember where and you have heero XD**

**virtual-asshole: well, even though heero is plainly gay now, i was planning on having quatre in the only gay relationship so he could get dorothy off his back, oh well, poor quatre, even though i love yaoi(slash, same thing just yaoi is the japanese version) since you had the first review on this i won't put in any(i might have to be reminded)  
**

**keep in mind that it was years ago we played this so it's a mix of kid ideas and teenager thoughts meaning things may be inconsistent, i just rewatched the anime so i should be able to bring at least some of the attitudes of the characters in, but i tend to ignore those to push the story the way i want to, and with the plans for this not everyone can act the same**

* * *

Heero was off by himself, he always loved this time

He went over to wing zero and opened up a hatch that no one else had ever noticed, there stood a mirror, he put his hand behind his head and grinned before he started to sing part of his favorite song

"I feel pretty, oh so pretty" he smiled before moving his hand in front of his head in the same position as before

"Too bad I can only do this in this way in front of anyone else" he mumbled before going back to the group

"Finished with the modifications?" he just nodded and sat down

"Yeah, me too" Duo said, walking out of the same area Heero did

"Isn't Deathscythe the other way?" Duo grinned and pulled out a camera

Heero's eyes widened and he went to destroy it; Duo danced around him and pulled out the film when Heero wasn't noticing to allow him to destroy the camera

As Heero was destroying it Duo pulled out a player and let the others watch it, Heero didn't notice and Duo quickly hid it as Heero turned around

Quatre's eyes widened as he looked at Duo and Heero

"What is it?"

"Your hair is basically the same color except Duo's is slightly lighter which can be a result of spending more time outside…"

"Or they were just different colors"

"And your eyes are the same color except Duo's are brighter…that can be a result of a brighter personality" at that moment the two looked at each other

"And neither of you know who your parents are, what your birthday is, or where you were born"

"Nah, it's not possible" Duo said simply while hero shook his head

"Wait, I know" he walked up to Heero and placed his hand in front of his face

"Do we really look alike?" Heero growled as Duo laughed

"Yeah, a bit" he placed his arm around the other's shoulder

"Calm down, we're joking around" Wu-Fei leaned back, Duo's eyes widened, and Duo ran

"I HAVE THE POWER!!" Heero smirked

"Where is my damsel?" he started looking around, his eyes locked on Heero

"Ah, you must have cut your hair, smart damsel" he grabbed Heero and ran off, Duo came out laughing

"Should we help him?" Quatre asked

"He wouldn't help me" Duo said stubbornly

"But that tape, was that real?" Quatre was laughing

"How could I think of something that ridiculous?"

"True"

"Do you really think I'm related to that idiot?"

"You can't deny the facts"

"That merely gives a basis, it won't be a definite"

"Then we get your blood checked"

"I don't want to be related to that guy"

"Why, because he's full of himself?"

"Because he's crazy" Quatre laughed

"Trust me, he's not the crazy one here" Duo turned

"Shit, crazy Quatre" they started fighting

"Go! Quatre-Sama, win this one for our marriage" he turned and pulled out a gun, Dorothy ran and Duo started laughing again

Trowa lifted an eyebrow

"What, you have to enjoy this" he gave him a look

"What, have you lost your voice or something?" he nodded

"Great, I'm stuck here with a silent guy, wanna fight?" Trowa smirked and they started sparring until someone else showed up

"Whatever you're fighting about you can solve by talking"

"He lost his voice" Duo said, still fighting

"You guys have computers, right?" Duo looked at Trowa who took out a flamethrower and aimed it at Relena

"I don't think he wants to" Duo said right before Relena was burnt to a crisp, he walked up

"Robot, no wonder the bitch makes it through so much" he muttered, Trowa nodded

"Where is Heero?" another Relena walked out

"Being a kidnapped damsel being saved by Wu-man" she blinked

"He's being saved by a woman?"

"No, it is Wu-man and why are you looking for my damsel" Duo burst out laughing when he saw Heero had been put in a dress

"Heero?"

"This guy has a grip from hell"

"Yeah, and you wouldn't help me" Wu-Fei looked between Heero and Duo, he dropped Heero and pointed the sword at him

"Who are you and what are you doing pretending to be my damsel?" after Heero didn't answer he turned to Duo and ran after the retreating figure

"Dammit!" was yelled at the same time as

"Get back here damsel!"

* * *

**So, who should i let have the sword? heero for he-man, trowa for tro-man, quatre for...qua-man(makes me think of ducks too much, maybe not that one) duo for du-man, relena for re-man(who will get killed quickly) or someone else? or maybe i should just leave it for wufei **

**so the thought about duo and heero related actually came when i was re watching, in the early episodes when they spend a lot of time together you can see them right next to eachother and i was shocked at the resemblance XD**

**if you like, review, if not, oh well**


	3. Quackers

**yay, next chapter done**

**wait, i actually have nothing to say to start the chapter...**

**virtual-asshole: well, no ducks, oh well, i'm glad you like it so much, if only you were a yaoi fan, maybe you'd read my other stuffs...**

* * *

Duo was panting

"Where's Wu-man?"

"I would appreciate not being called that" Wu-Fei walked out

"Where's that sword?" Wu-Fei was looking at Heero oddly

"What?"

"I thought you were the most normal one of us" he blinked

"Heero? Nah, he's the craziest, even crazier than crazy Quatre or Wu-man" Wu-Fei glared

"Really, that tape was proof enough" he could feel the glare, in fact, if looks could kill, he would be cut into pieces, smashed with a ten ton hammer, burned in lava, and dumped into the ocean to scatter all across the world

"Tape?" he grinned and just held his hand in front of his face again before jumping away as Heero sent a blast from Trowa's flamethrower at the spot he was in

Duo kept dodging until he ran out of fuel, Trowa snatched back his flamethrower, Relena jumped onto Heero, and Duo glued Relena to Heero

"What type of glue is this?"

"Strong enough to stick Gundams together indefinitely in a second" he glared as Duo grinned

"Don't worry; it's probably just another robot"

"Robot?"

"There have been Relena robots all over the place, Trowa used his flamethrower to destroy one and Wu-Fei as Wu-man killed at least ten"

"So you guys are the ones destroying her robots" they turned to see Zechs

"And you're controlling them?" Duo asked

"No, I didn't even make them" they all blinked

"I was just sent to find out who was destroying them" at that moment Dorothy came out and jumped over Zechs, accidentally pulling off his mask as a Relena robot with a familiar sword followed her

Everything froze

"Wait, I thought…"

"That is just gross"

"Is your hair glued to the outfit or something?"

"Shut up and give me back my mask" Dorothy stared in horror

"But I've seen you without your mask before…"

"So it has to be removed in a special way" he said before snatching back the mask and putting it on, he turned and left, they all looked at each other before the Relena robot with the sword started running for Heero

Heero frowned at the flamethrower

Quatre pulled out a gun and shot the clone until it exploded

"Uh oh, where's Dorothy when you need her" Quatre turned towards Duo and started shooting, Duo somehow dodged every bullet

"That's called, the protection of the authoress' favorite characters, only works for the top two" Duo grinned

"If only she could decide her favorite, then those might have hit" Duo just made a peace sign before running from crazy Quatre

The flames from the explosion of the Relena clone died down and Quatre tripped on a conveniently placed banana peel to catch himself with his hands, one on the sword

"I HAVE THE POWER!!" everyone stared

"Oh shit" and with that Trowa walked off

"I am Qua-man, where is my damsel?" he looked around, looked down

"Sheesh, I'm more of a damsel then you guys" he said, leaning over the sword a he stuck it in the ground

"That must mean you're evil and my damsel is hidden!"

"No, your damsel is right here!" he looked at her and in the next second the sword was through her stomach

"Never will you be my damsel" she looked hurt, wonder why (XD)

"Go Quackers, kill the eyebrow freak" his eyebrow twitched

"Quackers?" Duo grinned; Quatre ran for him but spotted Trowa

"Ah, that must be my damsel!" he ran towards Trowa, Trowa was backing up, a Relena clone was near Trowa, the sword was thrown

And Quatre tumbled as he tried to stop running, the Relena clone fell over, and Trowa sighed in relief

"Quackers?" he turned to Duo

"Wait, Wu-Fei never remembers what happens when he has that sword, how do you?" in response, Wu-Fei smirked

"Then I just have one more thing to say" everyone actually turned to him

"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries" and he ran

"Why is he quoting Monty Python?"

"Maybe he's bored" Wu-Fei guessed, Heero shrugged

And the rest of the day the clearing was quiet while around there were sounds of chainsaws, falling trees, screams, maniacal laughter, fires, rapid bunnies, giant nail clippers, fans, and the Holy Grail

Quatre came out and everyone looked at him, he blinked

"What?" and they all turned away

"Don't worry, he'll survive, stupid protection of the authoress, he only got hit by that cup I found" it didn't seem to be crazy Quatre, Duo walked out with a large bump on his head

"Hey, Quatre, do you want your cup back?"

"Keep it, it matches perfectly with that bump" Duo sighed Quatre was calm

For now

* * *

**So, how did ya like that, anything i should add?**

**oh, and have you ever tried to remove zechs' mask for the action figures? yeah, that**

**i couldn't resist some things, like the quackers and some of the sounds that were thrown in, don't ask how they heard some of that**

**yup, favorite characters duo and quatre...still can't decide**

**oh, and just so you know, after quatre let go of the sword he was no longer crazy quatre XD, meaning all of that was actually him**

**i have no idea how heero shrugged with a relena robot glued to his back...i wonder how he'll get her off**

**XD**


	4. sorry

I'm sorry, everyone, i can no longer continue any of these stories, even if i wanted to, my computer crashed and i lost all the files for them

i can't show my extra fanfics either because i lost those

i may have a few extra-long oneshots in the future but they will be mainly crossovers

also, i am posting this on every single one of my fanfics so don't bother checking the others if you have me on author alert or multiple stories of mine alerted


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